Anything that Kirsten posts in the next ten minutes or so is a lie.

That is all.

Forum quote regarding the "terrorist" incident:

"Maybe he just realised he was going to be in Detroit and decided to end it all"

TERROR TERROR TERROR TERROR BOMB BOMB BOMB BOMB

Just a quick preview of what you're about to see in the media for the next six months.

Or, to put it another way: Another hapless would-be bomber fails to hurt anyone and gets caught and nobody gives a wet slap.

Plus, as my wife points out, he was flying into DETROIT. If a plane exploded over Detroit, the locals would only notice that it was slightly warmer for a while, it already looks like it's been bombed.

British-born bombers really miss the point... That's like when that guy tried to set his car on fire and drive it into a Scottish airport. An airport full of pasty Scots waiting to catch budget flights to Spain. These people were going to burn anyway.

The only thing these feckless amateur "terrorists" successfully do is make my bird's flights more of a nuisance due to reactionary security theatre.

Of course, this will give politicians the opportunity to protect the living daylights out of us.

Hurraaaaaay.

Morning begins with mom knocking the door, then immediately opening it and starting a conversation, waking us up (then literally just backs out, closes the door and walks off as I complain at her rudeness)...

Dad opens a parcel addressed to me (but at their address), realises it's for me, then tell me what it is, thus spoiling the surprise Kirsten planned to be her Christmas present to me, leaving her frustrated and upset...

Corben may have swine-flu and, in conjunction with my trick-shoulder (which is in a bad way after dragging huge present-laden bags up-country yesterday) wakes me up every 1-2 hours last night and covers most of us in vomit on various occasions...

Sitting in the dining room, talking to Kirsten on MSN because I have to work and she has to study and the rest of the house is not particularly conducive to either...

Yep, it's Christmas with my family!

I say all of this with a wry smile - it's heavy-going, but it's good to be with my family, no matter what they're like, and better still to have Kirsten here, and get to see in Christmas with the nipper.

I'd love to pretend this wasn't how they advertised adulthood in the brochure, but I'm from the midlands, where this is considered the deluxe package :)

hoooooboy :)

Am currently in a lovely little island of calm between on-going house-moving logistics (all papers filed, waiting for references to come back, thinking about which days will have be be curtailed from my family visit to make the move once I get the keys) and keeping to the deadlines I have racked up for the "holiday" (which is increasingly becoming a misnomer).

I mean, yes, I'm awake before 8am on a saturday, having had about 4 hours sleep, but importantly, I went to sleep in and woke up to a bedroom containing my wife and my son.

I am big ape in his techno-cave, with his family.

Sleeping sounds and blinking LEDs and plasma screen with illustrated, anthropomorphic, singing animals entertaining the little one.

This makes big ape happy.

Plus, big ape should be getting a shiny new gadget-phone and a pocket-sized HDMI divx player delivered between now and lunchtime. Which also makes big ape quite pleased.

Nothing like fulfilling Maslow's hierarchy of needs from both directions at the same time :)

Later today, a last bit of Christmas shopping, a little work, and another evening with Corben visiting.

I'm cautious not to jinx things - my metaphorical knackers are still sore from the collective kickings delivered over the last week - but a bit of determination and the reassurance of having my wonderful wife and extended social circle there for some back-up is going a long way.

If i can get away with a nap or two without Corben playing the bongos on my head, I shall consider the weekend quite successfully begun.

THE RABBIT HAS ENTERED THE WARREN!

REPEAT THE RABBIT HAS ENTERED THE WARREN!

OPEN CHARLIE TUNNEL WE DIG TILL DAWN!

(kirsten got in fine, we actually got exactly the luck I'd prayed for, no heavy questioning, booyah!)

:D

Hokayyyy motherfuckers!

Today shall be potentially challenging.

Picking Kirsten up from Heathrow soon, for the Christmas hols... we've been warned that we could face even more of a barrage of questions than normal because she now is clearly married to me (my surname and everything, something we could have avoided, doh!) then they will want even more robust proof that she won't overstay her welcome.

Of course, it might just be the standard "show your return ticket, answer a few questions about your stay" affair, in which case I shall be able to scoop her up in an hour! We don't quite get a month this time, about three-and-a-bit weeks, but I've been just about going out of my mind missing her, so fingers crossed immigration smile upon our array of "look seriously, she's in the last six months of a 5 year degree, she ain't staying here" evidence :P I shall report back!

Annnnd next, I shall be finishing my forms and handing them in to the estate agents later today. I don't THINK I need luck with these as my references normally check out, but given the potential level of bureaucracy and ineptitude that is seemingly endemic throughout Britain's property "professionals", I would be glad of a prevailing wind at my back so we could start moving in next week. We shall seeeeee.

Cross your internal organs for me, folks. Good vibes, vibraphones, vibrators and copies of Vib Ribbon all graciously accepted!

I'm off to lasso me a wife!

Ouch. Just added up what this move IS costing me, and effectively, it's going to eat my entire christmas bonus.

Fuck it. 's only money.

Ah fuckedy HAHA!

Found a room. Same (CHEAP) money I'm paying now, 10 minutes walk from where I live now, available immediately.

In fact, the only down side is that it's 3rd floor. I guess that's going to get me and Corben fit, but it's not the end of the universe.

I've put down a deposit, and will get them the documents tomorrow, I could very possibly be ready to move in before Christmas, or immediately in the new year.

Which means that I'll get the shitty moving part out of the way before the current dayjob project goes thermonuclear.

Of course, I'm dropping money on things like a (bullshit) admin fee and finding a new deposit, etc, but everywhere you live is a compromise, so fuck it.

Fingers crossed my references go through quickly and trouble-free.

Fucking GET IN.

am feeling better than earlier.

been talking to friends and kirsten, my folks and corben's mom about how things might work out and at least I seem to have a number of escape plans.

in the short term, there's a few properties slap bang in the middle of enfield that I'm going to try to look at *tomorrow* that suit perfectly. If I could absolutely sprint through the process, I could move before christmas and know that I'm coming back after seeing my folks, to my own place. Not hugely likely, but not impossible.

and kirsten will be helping me look, and my folks will make with the chequebook if needs be (finding a new deposit after christmas? just what I needed! ouch...)

So, yis. Things will fix. I may need some help though. cheers for all the kind words, already, it does perk me up :)

Whelp, today has been something of a loss.

I fucked up and Kirsten's actually coming thursday, not tomorrow. Mostly fixed by re-arranging hotel and asking lovely people if they could help me out on a different day.

Then I got told that for us to hit our deadlines, I have to work throughout christmas.

This is during the time i get to see kirsten, and while I will be looking after my son and travelling to and from my parents' in the midlands.

I'd just about taken that on the chin, when my housemate asks if he can talk for five minutes, to tell me that he's kicking me out.

In February. The start of February. This is during the time that our project will be finishing.

And yes, he can do that, as we have no contracts here, because it's run as a sort of rolling house-share for Polish folks who may not stay long, or may leave abruptly.

I figured there was a strange mood in the house, so I assume that everyone already knew, as it does get a bit us-and-them on the language and gossip front occasionally.

I was told that it's because his sister is moving over and he needs the room for her to give her a start, but I don't know if that's true. My guess is that they finally got sick of me.

So today has been quite extraordinarily bad.

For the first time in my adult life, I'm considering taking my parents up on their offer of going home to live with them, because I feel as though I can't stand on my own two feet any more.

It was already too much, I was already losing control, and this is now, categorically more than I can deal with.

I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this.

Second fucking christmas on the run, as well... people really want to STOP picking this time of year to make people homeless.

Jesus. I don't even feel suicidal. I just feel... numb.

I will turn this around. I don't currently know how.

You know when you're fucking furious about something, and want to be mad at the world, except that in actual fact, it's your own fault?

Kirsten is not arriving tomorrow.

She's FLYING tomorrow.

I booked a hotel and asked a friend to take corben on the wrong day, and i don't get to see her tomorrow.

It's like having christmas put back a day.

FUCKING PISS.

i'm an idiot, i should have remembered it was an overnight flight.

i have been more happy.

M-Audio seem to have a new DJ controller out.

I finally don't need any more DJ control surfaces since I got my beloved Pacemaker, but this looks alright. I had the original X-session, and it was (and still is) a good piece of kit.

Speaking of which, fucking ThinkGeek and Firebox are stocking the Pacemaker... crikey, it's gone all mainstream...

The BBC's Have Your Say comments board is normally full of utter fuckwits, but occasionally it's refreshing to see the great unwashed seemingly holiding a similar opinion^* as me:

Does religion have a part to play in politics? (the most popular answers being a resounding "no")`

- spawned from the Archbishop of Canterbury basically whinging that people are less bothered about religion these days. Whelp, that's pretty much the state of play, matey. Doesn't matter what you say or what circles you move in, the country is not dominated by people to whom religion is particularly significant.

Obviously, the guy's just doing his job and genuinely believes the world is thus - I don't have the hate for him, though I do think he's strapped on the rose-tinted glasses on this one.

^{* and thus correct, obviously, for I know all}

Waldorf Edition Plug-In Suite

If you're one of those crazy fuckers who pays for their software, this isn't bad value for money.

The D-Pole filter is a total classic and worth £25 on its own, getting the attack and the wave table synth (both good, but many similar good products exist) is just a bonus. the D-Pole is a fucking insane filter plugin... lots of modes, really strong, with built in distortion. Can take things from boring to FUCKING JESUS in about three clicks.

I don't usually push paying for soft-synths as while their developers must work as hard as anyone else, I generally find the prices to be outrageous, but this isn't a bad bundle. Maybe a stocking-filler for the computer-musician in your life.